the lord our savior


..quote-unquote...




4.8.02

Doing one a day, or even one a week is too much responsibility for me, so here's a little quote-unquote of the day spurt for you:

"It's a sad day for me and also a happy day."
-Luis Pujols, about being named the Detroit Tiger's manager after Randy Smith and Phil Garner were put out of their misery. Such an elegant speaker.

"The only time we were wrong is when we thought we were wrong."
-Dialated Peoples, good.

"There are two sides to every girl."
-Steve Huber, in regards to sharing on the dance floor.

"Brother go find your brother."
-906 Greenwood, a classic golf quote to be said after someone hits a ball in the direction someone else has already hit theirs.


3/19/02
"Pantlicker."
-Cleaning lady in Kellog Pastry Swirls commercial. Ha, dirty pantlicker.

3/18/02
"It's about goddamn time you updated this page."
-baby jesus

6/26
"We love our members."
-Rochester Tennis Club. I bet they do. Love their members.


6/25
"The more I see her face, the more I hated her."
-Secret mean girl. Which brings about an old classic, "Hate fills me with love, love for hate."





6/19
"You guys hangin' out? I'll hang out."
-big guy who likes potato chips


6/18
"Not to toot my own horn..."
-Lispy Nosocks, who then proceeded to inform whoever was on the other end of the phone that he was on the "fast-track" and that everyone he's dealt with had been "thoroughly impressed." You all should give thanks to the lord our savior that there is only one lispy nosocks and that you do not have to meet him, ever.


6/17
3 am, on a deck overlooking the ausable river:
Frog: Ribbit. Ribbit.
Jim, slurring and shouting: Shut up bird!
-Jim, so drunk he couldn't tell the difference between a frog and a bird


6/16
"Man, you got jipped."
-Everess, who seems to be the only man left who uses the word "jipped" in everyday conversation


6/15
"Then you'll be happy."
-old man at the golf course after taking away our carts and allowing us to walk the back nine.


6/14
"What's good about Philadelphia is that they booo everyone. They even boooed Santa one time."
-WRIF Morning Show Hosts Drew and Mike, If I ever got to see Santa get boooed, it would be a divine moment. Also, if I saw people booing a baby for having too big a head, and then that baby cried, that would be funny. Then it would be sad.


6/13
"It looks like somebody shot a load in there."
-a lunchtime friend, in reference to a jar of mayonaise. It will be at least one week before I eat mayonaise.


6/11
"You know why I like the 76ers? Cause they have real basketball uniforms. The Lakers have them little pixie suits."
-David Letterman, referencing a picture of Shaq. Man, Letterman sure makes me laugh.


6/10
"If people didn't cut it, would grass always grow to be tall?"
-CC, who determined that in the end, animals would eat the grass, thus keeping it short. Huh.


6/8
"There are two types of computer users. Those who have lost data and those who will lose data."
-Today I was the one who lost data. Sometimes if just breaks my heart.


6/6
"I'll do it with you! I'll do it with you! There's just a small handfull of weekends I can not do it. But I will definately do it with you!"
-my supervisor, who could be heard yelling this into her phone today. Ha, do it. Now that is a true "quote-unquote" of the day.


6/5
"Chillin' like a villian."
-I hope I never hear another person say that. No matter who he is.


6/4
"I want to have sex, then do a hit while we're both cuming."
-kid in traffic. that kid knows something.


6/3
an old poem:
"Once I was a little catipillar
Now I am a big grown up man
Thank you"
-Big legs. How true that is, huh?


5/30

"This guy knows what I'm talkin' about."
-some quotes just deserve to be up here


5/29

"Getting Higgy with it."
-new hit song in honor of Detroit Tiger Bobby Higginson


5/25

"Famous is famous."
-another truth


5/24

"Free is free."
-the first truth


5/23

"What we have heard is that as of now what they are planning to do has been heretofore unreleased."
-Lispy Nosocks, in regards to plans for the 2005 Thunderbird, "we" refers to those who are on the waiting list to buy one


5/16

"I didn't think anyone bought yellow cars, I thought people only won them in contests."


5/15

"She [a co-worker] was wearing a tight tank top and I was scared. You know, she was meaty. Chunkachunkachunka [arms waving to describe how the rolls go]. If I was her, I would cover my chunk."
-a skinny chinese girl


5/14

" Well, I'm just going to fry up some green army men in a pan, put bottle caps over my eyes, dump a milkshake over my head and call it a night."
-David Sedaris, via BVP


5/13

"It is fucking dark for 6 months out of the year in Alaska, he doesn't know any better." -Dr. J, about a dumb Alaskan


5/10

"I like to play outside and never work. Shit."
-Everess, speaking about life


5/8


Thanks to Colonel Dominic for contributing this fine item. The lord thanks you.


5/7

"Dem beans done yet? What time is it? Is Zorro on?"
-David Letterman, mocking what George Bush probably says. The more Dave says it, the funnier it gets.


5/6
"Up yours."
-whoever says that is good, as the phrase is greatly under-used


5/4
"REEAALLLY? You collect those [posters]? That's great! I used to collect Garbage Pail Kids." -Patronizing Bob


5/3
"Right now the new intern has his shoes off and is picking his toes. If I'm ever boss that'll get you fired."
-SJB, speaking the truth


5/2
A joke:
Q: What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you've told her twice already.
Sorry ladies, but that's funny to me.


5/1
"You didn't open up your sugar box."
-one girl explaining to another why the guy she was seeing may have been mad.


4/30
"On 4/11/01, a final estimate was done for 2P10732(BMD, ARE), which cost had been transferred from 2PO1741(BMD, ABUG). Are you handling this or did you transfer it to Erin?"
-accounting.
Response: ssshhhhhhhhh. I already told you, twice. See what I have to put up with?


4/27
"'expense it' is a good thing to say."
-Dr. J, in regards to expensing things


04/26
"Nothing says relaxation like a man in a casket."
-Mike Boss


Any suggestions for quote-unquote should be sent to jtherkal@umich.edu.

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